Dedication’s what you need

Ladies, remove all breakables and lay down some foam or bubble wrap or something; reading on will likely cause your knees to buckle as your brain sends the following message to the various extremities of your broken, convulsing body. The rumours are true. I’m getting married.

The future Mrs. trendthrift will actually feature on the cover of next year’s Guiness Book of Records following her triumphant victory in the ‘Fastest transformation from jubilant bride-to-be to stress-addled wreck’ category. So impressive was the metamorphosis that Roy Castle actually rose up and tap-danced on his own grave.

Bless her. She can’t wait to get married, but the thought of getting everything organised is slowly killing her. We’re talking full-blown sleepless nights. Still, with any luck, we’ll have a date confirmed by this time tomorrow, which will be something.

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